Choke.

One time I was nailing this girl and she told me to choke her. I believe my response was "huh, what the fuck are you serious?!" and she told me that it "turned her on". Um can you say issues? Anyway thats not the point. The point is, is that for the last 16 hours I would have more than gladly choked the shit out of my fiance, we'll call her Becky. See, shes 21 years old yet still refuses to cut the fuckin cord. Everything that "mommy and daddy" says, she does. From financial advice (my credit isn't great, but at least I haven't had a car repoed....yet) to the most recent event, legal advice. See our company attorney works for a big firm, however hes a mexican law specialist. I know him and his brother (works for our company) very well. He made a call to his friend thats the best personal injury lawyer in San Antonio for me and he gladly accepted. This would apease most you women out there right? The fucking best in a big city? Yea maybe ya'll, not Becky. But what really angers me about the deal is she doesn't decide that she wants her small time "family friend" to do it untill yesterday at 7:00pm after MY guy has all the information blah blah fuckin' blah. The thing about it is I know her mom and dad talked her into it. I remember him saying at our house a couple nights back "Oh Mr. Pena specializes in that you should talk to him." Even though it was totally understood that my S.A. dude was gonna do it and fuck these people up for us. She is their little puppet. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. So since this post turned into another rant I might as well get it all outta my system. Everytime we have something planned with my folks, were always an hour late due to her, but when its her fucking family were 5 fucking min. early. Her mom drives her car ALL fucking day, then at night takes it to her house so she can drop everyone off at work the following day. I don't like making a $510 a month payment for something that rarely sits at my fucking house. Heres what pisses me off the most, the kid. No HE doesn't piss me off, they do. I suppose I'll post about this part in a while, I'm getting all worked up. Plus I should probably go outside to smoke and check out on the workers.

Sore loser.

I've never understood the phrase "be a good loser". Blame my family, but I'm sorry, it IS if you win or lose. 2nd place will always be 2nd place, and 1st will always be better. I do know you can't win 'em all, but you can sure as hell try and its ok to be pissed if and win you lose. Yes you go shake the other teams hand, tell them good game, but you should never be satisfied to lose and I'll stand by that untill the day I die. If your (or your team as a whole) best isn't good enough then you need to work harder. Goals. Make them, then beat them. That being said we had our last softball game of the season last night. God we suck. This was my 1st year of ever playing slow pitch softball and only did so because the team needed people and my friend knew I was a rather good baseball player back in the day.Out of my kindness I agreed to go into uncharted territory and help out a friend. Truth be told I feel tons more comfortable hitting a ball comming at me 80 miles an hour and curving into my head than hitting something thrown underhand stright and slow. However I took my lack of skill at this and worked on it and turned into a damn good hitter. The fielding was never a problem as it is the same thing with a bigger ball. My team... oh my fucking team. I love these guys but goddamnit they must be the least driven bunch I've ever seen. You know how many times we practiced as a team during this 7 week, 14 game season? Once. One. Damn. Time. As I'm sure you can guess, we got the ever loving shit beaten out of us the 1st half of the season. Run ruled shit beaten out of us. Embarassing. The second half was better, we won 3 games and got beat by only 1 or 2 runs late in the game, but a lose is a lose. We have another season in a month and my best friends cousin, the guy whose team it is, seems to think we can jump into a league higher. That means better players. Seriously who the fuck would do this? You don't need an education to figure out if we do this, we'll get killed. But I'll play anyway because I actually do like the game, and playing it made me realize how I miss playing baseball. That and it gives me an excuess to drink a few beers and get away from the old lady, actually shes not old at all....just sounds good. Also I'll do it in hopes of another team asking me to play for them. A team that gives a shit about winning and losing. If not, then fuck it....bring on the ice chest of Keystone and lets get hammered at least.

On a side note, do you know how much people pay for "good" softball bats? $200-$500. Un-fuckin-real. My brother in law plays thank god, and hooked me up with a $300 dollar bat he doesn't use anymore. Maybe its just me, but if I payed $300 for that fuckin thing I'd use it untill that mother fucker looked like a fly swatter.

nuckin' Futs.

So I had no show to play this weekend. I had no plans with the family for Saturday night. I did have something in mind. I was going to get FUCKED UP! Its been a while since I didn't HAVE to be anywhere or doing a certin thing. All day Saturday was spent hanging pictures for the woman and installing a suround sound for myself all the while looking forward to the crack of that 1st beer. Shit it'd been so long since I've been real real drunk and got to enjoy it. Maybe a month more or less. Well to make a long story short my night of getting bombed turned to 2 and a half beers. I'm and animal I tell ya. Well at least I got some action in the sack. Not a buzz, but some lovin'. There have been times in my life where i would have gladly been sober for some ass. I thought I'd never say this, but this wasn't one of them. Maybe its all the stress I've been under lately. MAYBE it is anxiety like people say, but I won't go to the Dr. Or maybe I just needed a few shots of fucking jagermeister, ceap well tequilla and 10 beers. For a couple weeks I was luck to be getting 3 hours of sleep a night. My wonderfull sister, who is a nurse, had her Dr. perscribe me some Ambien all was well. Its back. I take an Ambien at 11:oo and find myself up still at 2am staring at the celing wondering if this is it. Am I finally taking the high dive into the pool of bat shit crazy? Or.....do I just need to get fuckin drunk and give my mind a break? This medicine didn't work, I think I'll play Dr. this time and self medicate.

In the Begining

Ok people who read blogs here we go, my first post. I figure I should give you a little back story on my life before we dive into all the good stuff. I'm 22 and engaged. I have a pretty deent job by most peoples standards but most importantly I enjoy what I do, which is more than alot of people can say. I've known my fiance since I was a sophmore in high school. Funny thing is then we couldn't stand each other. Apperantly I was "cocky" and I thouht she was a "stuck up bitch" guess that shit about falling for someone when you least expect it is true. As fate would have it we bump into each other a year ago and bang here we are. We have a little 2 year boy that biologically isnt mine. But as far as being a daddy, hes mine. I tell people I have a son and another one on the way. His "father" has never been around, and I hope it stays that way because I get thrown into jelous fits of insanity and rage when he/his family calls to check up yet forgets his birthday. Fuck them. All of em. Ok I'm starting to get a little pissed. I'm going to put my stright jacket on now, I'll be back.